Dream Land

Do you ever have those dreams that just don’t make sense? Something simple like eating a food you don’t like or spending time with your “mom” except that she doesn’t look like your actual mom, you just instinctively know who it is?


The other night I was dreaming about my nieces and nephew. It was nice to see them, even if just in dream land, considering they live on the other side of the country.

Lily, my oldest niece, was lying in the back seat of a car and watching the stars happy as can be. She told me she had never seen the stars before. The smile on her face was so perfect, just like it’s always been. I left her out there with her step-mom to enjoy the sky.

I went inside the house, I don’t know whose house it was, but I walked in anyway. Abby, my next niece ran to me and expressed just how excited she was to see me and then ran off to play.

Finally, my dad and 2 of my brothers walked in with my nephew. Apparently they had been camping. Bentley is less than a year old but had a full size guitar slung across his chest and was happily being carried by his uncle.

I’ve never met him, so my brother handed Bentley to me. I took the guitar off him so I could get a good hug in and he told me (8 month olds can speak?!) that I needed to change his diaper.

No problem. I laid him on the floor and grabbed a new diaper, but it wasn’t a diaper at all, except in the dream where it was… It was a piece of cardboard with a shape that pops out the middle. Once it’s popped out, fold the edges, tuck the tabs into the tab holes and voila! Diaper! I’m telling you, it was 3D cardboard suitcase, an 8 month old was telling me how to build it and also making sure I used all the tabs so there would be no leaks, weird stuff. He informed me that the current one he had on (which looked like an actual diaper) was built and put on incorrectly by my dad and brother and leaked.

And then my 4:30 am alarm went off.

As much as I would love to stay in dream land with baby Bentley, I’m not convinced putting him in a cardboard suitcase diaper was going to turn out well.

Do you have weird dreams too? Tell me about them!! Comment here or leave me a note on my new Facebook page!

Plans that Change

I’ve spent the last week deciding if I should book my long desired trip to Iceland. A great seat sale meant it would only cost me $490 to fly roundtrip and that alone was almost enough.

Instagram @chrisburkard

I want to go so badly, but I’m torn between if I want to go in winter or summer because they each have something totally different and unique to offer. There is plenty that can only be done in Iceland during specific months, and even in those months can quickly be cancelled due to weather.

My only time that I felt I could really go this year was mid-October or sometime in November. Both of these are technically winter months in Iceland and I had limited options for local transportation, tours, etc. That aside, there is also the daylight hours to consider. In my available travel times I could only expect about 4-6 total hours of daylight each day, further limiting my options.

Instagram @chrisburkard

Don’t get me wrong, Icelandic winter looks absolutely beautiful and I would love to experience it, I just need more time to figure out the logistics.

I was first considering an organized tour which would cover sleeping, transportation and seeing all the areas that I really want to see. As convenient and lovely as that sounded, I can’t justify spending $2000 for a 5 day tour.

Instagram @roaminglovers

Consideration number 2 was renting a car. I could live with spending $500 for 6 days considering the freedom, convenience and adventure that it would offer me, but that $500 doesn’t include gas, insurance or the “young driver fee” that I would need to pay for being under 25 years old. I also am not 100% comfortable with the idea of driving on foreign roads in winter with little light to guide the way. I’ve read articles that say you absolutely MUST have 4x4 and the biggest, sturdiest vehicle the rental place has and still other places claim that even someone with little to no winter driving experience would been fine driving here, no 4x4 necessary. I would hate to assume I’ll be fine and end up getting stuck somewhere. On a side note, most rentals on offer are manual and I don’t know how to drive manual..

Lastly, and most ideally, I looked into public transit hoping that I could see the island country that way since it offers a reasonable amount of freedom and generally comes with a much lower price tag. I did find some buses that go to the places I want to see, but I would be waiting 8+ hours for the next bus to come and pick me up. Beyond that I was able to find a company that offers “bus passports” that allow the holder to travel as much as they want within 3, 5, 7, 9 or 11 days in the region that the pass is valid. Finally, that seemed like the perfect option. Freedom, great price, convenience and a driver that treats you like you’re on a tour, telling you all about the places you are going. I would have booked everything right then and there until I realized the passport is only available between May and September.

Instagram @muenchmax

In the end none of the available options seemed ideal for my time of year. I have to admit, I considered booking the flights anyway and figuring everything else out on arrival.

But as I lay in bed struggling with the decision and only having 1.5 hours left to decide before the seat sale expired, it finally hit me. Even though I want to go so badly and even though the price is almost too painful to pass up, despite the fact that it was one of my goals to take another solo trip this year, I really want to experience and share this trip with someone else. I want to experience the beauty of this magical place with someone by my side, even if it means I continue waiting.

My silver lining? I’m hoping that now I can get my scuba diving certification before I go and that I’ll be able to dive the Silfra Fissure. And yes, Edmonton does have diving schools. If anyone is interested in getting certified with me, I would love the company!




In case you missed it, I created a Facebook page for my blog! You can click HERE to see it and I hope you'll go like it!

Trying to Understand

1 year ago today I lost my Grama, she meant everything to me. I'm not sure why now seems like a better time to share this, but the following words were written back then, almost 1 year ago and the feelings are all still the same. Here it is. 

I'm not sure how to express the feelings I've been having lately. I feel like a child, so helpless and unable to understand. Where are you now? Just gone? How is it possible that I'll never see you again, never talk on the phone, never hear your stories or laughter? 

I'm trying to be okay. Trying to find a way to understand what's happening around me, but it's so hard. I don't have a clear idea in my head about what happens after death and that makes everything so much more difficult for me. 

Even though I know you are gone, I don't think I've really grasped it. I've held your urn, read the obituary many times and been to the memorial, but even so, nothing feels real. 

Where are you now?

You were the greatest friend, the best influence and the person I wanted in every situation. You supported me, taught me, spoiled me, encouraged and loved me. I don't think I could have thanked you enough for what you did for me, but I tried.  

I hope I made you proud and that wherever you are I still do. 

Wherever that place is, if that's how the universe works, I hope you are with your family now. I want to know that your parents welcomed there little girl and your siblings couldn't wait to get to you. 

If that's not how it works, are you a bird? Or a warm breeze? Maybe a seed taking root or a wave in the ocean? Perhaps you are waiting to be reborn, to start a new life where you can bring joy to another family. I'm not sure. I can't make myself understand this. 

I just need to know that you are around and that somehow I will see you again one day. 

Wherever you are. 

I miss you. 

I love you. 

"How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?"

-Winnie the Pooh

Weekend

Ryan and I had a really great weekend packed full of new and exciting things.

On Friday afternoon I was given tickets to the Eskimos vs. Riders football game because someone else wasn’t able to use them. Ryan agreed to go even though neither of us are huge sports fans.

This was the second live football game I’ve ever seen and the first for Ryan, but we had a blast! We cheered for opposing teams and enjoyed teasing each other when our chosen team was doing well. I do love a good competition! I did not, however, win the game!

Saturday morning we got to sleep in a bit before going to meet some of my family at a U-pick to get strawberries.

I didn’t expect it to be overly nice outside and so I also didn’t expect the farm to be too busy. I was wrong. It was warm and sunny and tons of people were out picking the fresh berries.

We had 5 people and 5 buckets to fill. 1 hour and 30 pounds later we had the crucial element of our jam making plans.

This particular farm only has strawberries, but I’m hoping to go somewhere else in the near future to get some other fruit and veggies too!

After leaving the U-pick Ryan and I continued down the road to Sylvan Lake for the afternoon. I weather called for potential thunderstorms but I wanted to go anyway.

I recently saw on the news that Sylvan Lake was building a lighthouse inspired by the one a Peggy’s Cove in Nova Scotia, and you know I couldn’t resist that!

After a stop for lunch and a bit of driving around town we parked near the beach and started to walk. Despite the call for less than lovely weather it turned out to be quite nice out and the beach was packed!

We walked near the beach and on the main street, visited one shop and did some people watching and eventually made it to the lighthouse. It looked pretty much how I expected, though maybe a bit smaller. We took a few pictures and then walked back to the beach.

I had to go in the water, especially since the weather turned out so nice. Looking in the distance we knew it could turn on us pretty soon so we just splashed around knee deep and fully clothed for a while before deciding to go for ice cream.

This particular ice cream is from a food truck in Edmonton and has been invading my Instagram feed regularly. Fresh flavoured cream and toppings are poured onto a frozen table and worked until it starts to freeze. As it freezes it gets spread smoothly over the surface and then scraped off into lovely little rolls. It was well worth the 40 minutes we had to wait to get it, though I’m in no real rush to do it again.

Sunday morning I cleaned our apartment, as I always do, before getting ready to go out again. Today we would be making the aforementioned jam with our lovely fresh strawberries.

We both expected the process to be a bit more complicated, but it wasn’t difficult at all! The real trick is to measure accurately, watch the time and not burn yourself. Also, there will be a mess. And if you happen to have a parent that already cleaned and prepared the jars, like I did, then that’s great too!

I can’t wait to spread the fruits of my labour! Literally..

At the end of the process, after 10 batches of jam (we only did 5) and a freezer full of cleaned berries we had 5 left. Just 5 berries, sitting in a bowl, waiting to be eaten.. And eaten they were, inside mini strawberry shortcakes!