Today, our baby was born.
Labour was 10 hours, but completely manageable. It started at 2:38am. I could easily breathe, walk and talk through the contractions for the first several hours.
I woke Ryan up at 5:45 and by the time we got driving to my parents house where we planned to give birth, around 6:30, the contractions were already 1-2 minutes apart and lasting 1-3 minutes. Still manageable.
I thought I must be progressing quite quickly but by 8:30/9 when the midwife arrived and checked I was only 3cm, able to stretch to about 4cm. I was temporarily disheartened until I all but forgot about the cm’s as I continued to get contraction after contraction, nearly on top of each other. The best relief was to stand and walk during and continue to breathe, in through my nose, out through my mouth. I never had any moments feeling like I couldn’t do it or I wanted to quit or have drugs, even when I unknowingly reached 10cm. I got out of the pool, (which was a great relief between contractions, but I still had to stand during them) feeling like I had to use the bathroom. While sitting on the toilet my water broke. I was checked again by our midwife when I got back downstairs and was told it was pushing time.
On my back on the bed, where I was checked, looking back now it feels like it would have been impossible and so painful to birth that way, I don’t know how people do it. Back in the pool however, I had the freedom to take on a deep, hands and knees, forward bent squat and it felt so right. I pushed hard with every contraction, but not so hard that I felt I was keeping oxygen from my baby or exhausting myself. I never actually had the urge to push, I just knew it was time.
I had no idea at the time, but I pushed for about an hour before the head was born. I cried out during crowning, it was very intense pressure, but it was over quite quickly. Our midwife said the baby had its hand in an awkward position so she helped rotate a bit and then I felt the whole body explode out of me with no pain and minimal effort on my part.
Ryan and I both sobbed as the baby was passed between my legs, still underwater, and I brought it up to my chest. We were (are) both so smitten that we didn’t even look so see if it was a boy or girl, it truly didn’t matter in that moment.
Of course we did eventually need to know, and it’s a girl! Rowan Alice.
Ryan was with me every step of the way through labour, so supportive, reminding me to breathe and telling me how well I was doing. Other times just being there silently for whenever I needed to reach out.
Lynn and Dad came to meet her shortly after she was born but didn’t stay to long as the placenta wasn’t far behind.
Ryan cut the cord and held Rowan while I birthed the placenta with little effort and no pain at all.
I was up almost right away, up three flights of stairs to shower while Ryan took Rowan to bed for a snuggle.
We had all the grandparents (except Norma) over for Rowan’s first birthday cake that evening.
In bed before we (kind of) slept, I nursed her for the first time. Harder than it seems to get a good latch and I ended with a rather sore nipple. I tried feeding her again several times throughout the night but she didn’t seem to be getting anything and was clearly frustrated, as was I (with myself) ... in hindsight, I realized I kept putting her on the same side because the other was sore, of course she wasn’t getting anything. It all worked out better in the light of the next day.
We took our first little walk outside as a family of 3 and it felt so good to be in good enough shape after the birth to be able to do that. I couldn’t be more proud of what my body did for me.
Rowan and I have matching birth marks. Outside of the right ankle.
It’s crazy how none of this has been the way I always thought it would be. I don’t feel like my life has changed dramatically because Rowan arrived, it’s like she was always going to be here and I’ve just been waiting for her to arrive, knowing all along that she would. I feel calm and at peace and perfectly in love. I wouldn’t change anything about labour or birth and I certainly wouldn’t change anything about my daughter.
mind over matter
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