Hopefully that will change soon.
I feel like I'm always busy, and when I'm not I'm to physically and emotionally exhausted to do much of anything.
It feels like my entire life is changing right now. The things I know and am comfortable with or take for granted are gone or going and I'm left to find new pieces to put life back together.
My grandma, a.k.a one of the most important people in my life, is very sick. I'm scared to death.
My 6.5 year relationship is over. Everything I've known in my home life from day to day is gone.
I have to move out of our shared condo and start over.
As it turns out, I have no idea who the hell I am or what I want from my life anymore. What do I do? Where do I go? What's the best course?
I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I'm quite content to stay home alone and feel sorry for myself, other days everything feels great and I'm ready to conquer the world.
I hate being told what to do, but I have moments where I want nothing more that to have someone tell me what to do with my life. Print me a map of where to go. Show me the way.
In an effort to see the glass of life being half full, I've considered that this may be the perfect time to do the things I felt held back from before.
I've wanted to move away and start a life somewhere new for a long time. Run away, if you will. That seems extremely appealing, albeit terrifying, right now. I have no lease, my job is just a job and not a career, friends and family will always be here, I'm not attached to many material things lately... In my mind that makes this the perfect time.
If not moving away, travelling again would be great. For the same reasons. And because I want to.
Move away? Long term travel? Open ended adventure?
I've considered the other side as well. If I run away, will that actually make anything better? Or would that be the last straw, losing everything else that I know in life, and I'll just snap?
Only one way to find out!
xoxo
